


He's a real boy now

by Aunt Pol (Willow2013)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Jackson Whitmore character study, Meta, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 13:29:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3121973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willow2013/pseuds/Aunt%20Pol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Character study on Jackson Whitmore, his thoughts and motivations in seasons 1 & 2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's a real boy now

Some pertinent dialog first, note the items in bold.

Harris: Jackson’s a highly motivated student. In fact, I’d describe him as “unusually driven.”  
Mr. Whittemore: Yeah, we were hoping he might ease up on himself a little. He’s always been real hard on himself. It’s just, you know, something we assumed was an effect of him being adopted.  
Harris: I think I understand. He’s never met his biological parents.  
Mr. Whittemore: Yeah, that’s right. **It’s the need to please, the overachieving, the desire to make someone proud– Someone he’s never even met.**  
Harris: Something certainly seems to have recalibrated his desire for achievement several notches higher. Not to be too blunt about it, **but he seems almost obsessed.**

**—-**

Mr. Whittemore: It reads, “stayed at friend’s house last night. Everything fine. Love you.” Now, while we’re as close as any family can be, there are certain things Jackson has not been able to say since the day we told him he was adopted.  
Sheriff: Things like what?  
Mr. Whittemore: **Jackson never says, “I love you.”**  
Sheriff: Never?  
Mr. Whittemore: Not once in 11 years.

**——**

Jackson’s Mother: His name is Jackson. We’re looking for Jackson Whittemore.  
Jackson’s Father: Has anyone seen Jackson? We’re his parents.  
Lydia: Mr. Whittemore?  
Jackson’s Father: No, we’re his real parents.  
Jackson: **No, no.**  
Jackson’s Mother: Could someone tell him we’re here?  
Jackson’s Father: Tell him we’re his real parents.

**—-**

Jackson: **Do you– do you still–**  
Lydia: I do. **I do still love you**. I do, I do still love you. I do. I do. I do still love you, I do.

—————-

When Jackson is about 5 years old, his parents tell him he’s adopted. With that revelation, he comes to realize that he is someone that cannot be loved.  And if he cannot be loved, then he in turn cannot love, because how can you love someone if you are incapable of being loved?

This feeling holds true for 11 years and it’s a fundamental part of who Jackson is.  Unloved and unlovable and it’s a fear, no, a terror that he has where someone will find out.  He doesn’t say “I love you” to his parents, not because he doesn’t love them, but because he is terrified that he won’t hear the “I love you too” back from them (or at least hear it in a way he is able to believe is sincere).  

His parents, in trying to compensate for the fact that their child no longer ‘loves them’ tries to buy his affections instead.  They give him all he wants, like a Porsche at 16, because if he can’t believe the words they tell him, if they can’t get him to say “I love you too mom & dad” at least they can show him they love him by showering him with material possessions.  (If I didn’t love you I would not spend all this money on you, sort of thing.)

To compensate for this feeling of being unlovable/unloved, he becomes an over-achiever, eager to please because if he’s fundamentally incapable of having someone love him, then he has to make sure there are other things for people to at least like about him.  Because if his family can’t love him, they at least can be proud of him and that’s the only thing he can do, is make them proud. And it’s in that effort that he strives to be the best he can be, and that means he has to be perfect, he has to be that person with with perfect hair, the perfect car, the perfect girlfriend,  be the perfect team captain, etc.

When he is shown up by Scott, who suddenly takes at least one of his successes away from him (Lacrosse) he is angry, because to him it’s more than just a game.  (It’s the only reason Lydia is with him, it’s one of the things he does that makes his parents proud of him). Lacrosse represents to Jackson proof that HE is good at something, that he has worth, that he has value for his skill.   His first effort at gaining it back is to push Scott into selling him performance enhancing drugs.  When he finds out the truth, that it’s werewolf powers, he wants it too. 

Becoming a werewolf suddenly becomes the answer to all of Jackson’s problems, because then he will be perfect.  He will ALWAYS win the games, he will ALWAYS succeed because he will have POWER.  He transfers the same obsessive need to be perfect into seeking out the bite from Derek.  He wants it, he NEEDS it, because then, finally then, he will have the power he needs to be perfect in all he does.  We see him beg for it several times, nearly in tears because he needs it.

When he finally gets the bite, his body begins to fight it. Why? Because how can you accept the wolf, or any shape really, when you can’t even accept yourself? Since the problem is that Jackson cannot accept himself,  he falls back on what he knows, what he always does, which is his need to please, his eagerness to make someone proud. 

And who is around that could fullfill this need for him?  The night of the full moon, during Jackson’s very first transformation, Matt Daheler sits outside his house, and spots Lahey, a man who he has wished death on desperately since he was a boy. And so this is how Jackson becomes the Kanima; because he is eager to please, his magic, his inner shifter is DESPERATE to make it so Jackson can please someone, it anchors on Matt, who also desperately needs something - revenge. 

During his conscious hours, Jackson is angry, oh so angry because this is the ONE THING that would solve all of his problems.  The powers the bite would give him, would make it clear to everyone that Jackson is WORTHY of their attention and maybe, just MAYBE someone might find it in themselves to actually be able to love him, because now he will always be able to please, nothing will stop him. 

We see he still firmly feels this way when we see the scene where he is confronted with the image (no faces) of his biological parents. His reaction is one of shame, of denial ‘no, no’ because they would see him as a failure, no one they could be proud of, no one certainly they could love.  Because he is a failure.  He failed in his ultimate goal to be the most perfectly perfect Jackson he could be, his body rejected the bite (so he believes), the ultimate proof that Jackson is unworthy, of power and of love.  And he lashes out at everyone because of it, steeping himself even more in the belief that he is unworthy.

And Peter knew this about him.  This is why Peter knew that Lydia could save him.  Because he’s been inside Jackson’s mind, and he knew Jackson loved Lydia.  And he’s been inside Lydia’s mind, and he knew Lydia loved Jackson. And the moment that Jackson truly believed he could be loved by someone, that he was worthy of someone’s love, especially by someone he loved in return, then he could accept who he was, give up that obsessive need to please and be able to accept the wolf transformation.


End file.
